post-christmas pre-new year dayz.

wooohoooo.

I am sick.

My ears hurt, my sinuses are clogged (only one of them which is perfect for lop-sided breathing practices, which hurts too...) but still leaking uncontrollably, my eye sockets hurt, my throat is dry and scratchy, and I'm cold and hot at the same time.

This sucks.

Anyways....yeah. I need to get it together because today, I am going to fix my car. It needs a new windshield and something is wrong with the brakes that is making the brake fluid leak out, and the brakes un-usable.

this is my friend dinosaur with his guitar...

I am also going to practice my guitar. It has been brought back into my remembrance that I am not some kind of a guitar master, and that if i do not practice I cannot think myself into having talent. But i need picks, lots and lots of guitar picks because my brother took them all. What a free-loader. (That means i love him in sibling-ese.)

this is my current "do" (I'm on the left) (pic is dated last weekend...)

I kind of want to do something cool to my hair like dye it a different color, but i want it to grow first. While not hot ironing it, or putting any heavy style holders of any sort into it, last month, my hair grew at least an inch. So while attempting to let it grow out, I have to find natural styles that work for me. When I say "work for me" I mean that they have to be cute and ladylike, but not too much to look like i tried, because I probably won't try. And it can't be too, too girly....because I'm not too, too girly.

i've had about a thousand styles in the past 2 years...here's about 3 of them.

if you look closely, you will see that the top is left not-braided, turning my long hair into a mowhawk without cutting it (but i had it in a ponytail for some reason, but if i took it down, it would puff up)...

...and then I got tired of that and cut bangs.

and then I put orange-pink-blonde streaks in it...

I liked those a lot, but it only looked cool when i straightened it

and then I dyed it red and black...

....and now its faded and "whack."

Guess I shold get a move-on.

holiday.

yes i celebrate christmas.

yes i worked on christmas.

yes i get paid time and a half for working on holidays like christmas.

yes i made 6.50 an hour in tips at a coffee shop on christmas working with other people.

yes i saw the three hour movie "the curious case of benjamin button" on christmas night.

yes i met a lady named jen while working who was blind and deaf.

yes she had an assistant that signed into her hand.

yes it rememinded me of helen keller with-out the crazy tantrums.

yes it was fascinating and amazing and it brightened my day.


no i did not recieve gifts.

no i did not buy gifts.

happy birthday jesus.

floating thoughts.

I..

walked along the edge of the skyline and wondered:
What if dreams were not just the figments of our imagination that we make them out to be?

I see beyond in front of me,
forever above,
and the earth beneath.

Ultimate actualization disabled the senses
and I seemed

to just


be


there, beyond in front of me,
forever above,
and the earth beneath.

And then I began to think...
and I fell
through the clouds
to the ground.

doings and happenings.

yeah. MCCA syn-ap (:my personal version of an abbreviation of synopsis...lol)

MCCA was in Nvmbr btw (:November, by the way)

we did this....

and this....

...mostly

yep.

domain name wonderland.

so....i'm building a website. I've been talking about it for MONTHS, but i'd rather not type ideas here (as if anyone reads this)- just in case. You know,it's be like putting the ingredients to a secret sauce in a free bottle on my door step labeled "secret sauce."

Whatever. -_-

ANYWAYS.....yeah, I'm in the creation process of website-er-dom and I've basically been calling everyone that I know for help....WHY you ask? Because I'm basically computer illiterate in the world of website-creator-dom.

I'm no techy nerdy person who has changed their entire myspace to a single phrase that links to pics and blogs, I cannot hide my profile from you....I just cheat. I manipulate div overlays, and mix them. That only works sometimes. Other times, I copy and paste like nobody you've ever seen. Google Imaging cool backgrounds, and the like.

So this website thing, sucks.

And I need videos on it...EVERYWHERE.

But, IT WILL WORK. IT MUST WORK....cause I already bought the domain name...like....just now.

yep. and I can tell it to you, but I won't until I AT LEAST post "HI" on it in the top left corner in times new roman font.

...maybe I'll add a smiley face too, to smile at you while you stare into the blank white spaces of bandwidth that are contained within the perameters of my site; to smile at you while you contemplate returning for the awesomeness of a site not yet completely developed.

Yes, oh yes, when I post the "HI" and smiley in the top left corner of my site, I will let you visit it. Laugh if you must, but if you do, and it's a good, weird, 30-second laugh, video record it, and i'll add it to the site later.

these are the beginning adventures of:

jay

in dOMaiN nAmE wOnDERlaNd.

PLAYSTATION HOME.

So.....I have quite a few gamer/compy nerd friends and/or associates, and my friend Steve has the beta test for playstation home. It's like....Sims but waaaay better. You build an apartment, can go shopping, and you interact with other people in the room from all over the world. Its designed like a game; you walk around....the beta test has a mall, a bowling alley with pool tables and an arcade( all of which you can play with other random users)...a movie theatre...... it's like a cool virtual world, and you can connect it to a mic and hear people speak, and load games from where you stand....


Besides the mic and regular chat, you also can choose from a list of commands like sitting..or laughing, or dancing (there was about 12 different dances)....

And you create a character in DETAIL from nose and forehead size down to height, weight, and outfit.

It's pretty much awesome.

I played around on it for like an hour and a half or so last night and added friends.

ITs generally awesome.
And that was just the beta test.

WHATtheHELLiSTILLgottaWORKatFIVEpm.ARGH.

partial throwback.

here are 2 partial throwback facebook pics of my halloween experience.

it's a home-made STORM costume.

(it screams: BROKE COLLEGE STUDENT!)

I-hop is the unofficial ending of many adventures.

weekend update.

I need a new playlist.

That's BESIDES the point.

Here's a speed update from the land of invisible blog droughts...!!!

OBAMA WON!!!!!
yeah, I was most DEFINITELY WAYYY too Busy CELEBRATING to have the time to sit down and blog. Then, when the free time was upon me, I was exhausted from jumping up and down, screamming, and running up my cell phone bill.

MCCA (novemver 6th thru 8th)....I will be posting pics.... SOON. The leadership conference was ....so....BUSY. I mean, we hosted it, and the host is always the one running around setting up and making sure everything is right. AND...the hotel sucked. Like...it was a 4 star resort, but the hotel employees were on stupid drugs that made it hard for them to comprehend customers and remember what they said. (awesomeness.)

TWILIGHT.
who's seen it? (It came out yesterday.) well, anyways, the book was generally awesome, hands down. Like....she's in love with a vampire, but better yet, he's in love with her back. yeah...weird huh??? No, but seriously....she's in love with a VAMPIRE.

Twilight Trailer



Incubus....is playing.....I like them.....I'm stil tired of this playlist. (*goes to imeem*).

living history

i just went to vote. this is so.....spectacular. Barack Obama is the first actual african American candidate with a chance at the U.S. presidency. I just can't believe it....its living history. I'm LIVING HISTORY.

WHEN he gets elected as president, he will be the first African American President in the U.S. PERIOD. He'll be the first NON-caucasian president. PERIOD.

Well, susposedly I shouldn't tell you who I voted for....cause I'm technically a pre-law student.

So...I'll leave that up to your "imagination."

I'M LIVING HISTORY. take a guess.

we can do ALL things through God.

We are always living the past, the present, and the future.

I think I will be important someday, and in a speech, I will refer to this very moment. THIS VERY DAY. Election Day: Tuesday November 4th, 2008.

History is here. :)

If I have my way

I change my mind a lot: like..... A LOT, LOT, LOT. I mean, first I like you, then I don't...first I'll stay, then I'll leave, then I'll comeback. It's getting to be very annoying, very much so...and the ONLY thing that I've learned from it is that I STILL don't know what I want.

I'm goal oriented without specific goals. I like to broaden the picture to include all possibilities and then with all the extra choices I need more time before I can make my decision. I enjoy leading, but not deciding where to lead. What kind of a leader is that? What kind of a person is that.

I am in heavy need of things to just fall from the sky, for lights to ordain themselves around the decision that best fits, and for them to glare in my face until chosen.

I need a nap. This was pointless...I think.

one hour til work.

I have one hour until I have to prepare my mind for work.....and then I will have to actually get into my car and leave after that. dangit.

I have not blogged in exactly one month and four days. What's up with that? guess I've been busy.

SGA and work and poetry club damn near killed me last week....but it's okay, I'm okay, I think. I have a poem for you all....It's interesting. Don't take it personal though.

Friends at first, but attitudes come with titles.

Where we once collaborated,

we now work against:

zealous fire that stays within the limits of personal denial...

Every meeting is a trial.

Who will prevail, and to what extent?

What will be the value if the prevail-er's win?

Will the winners' sustain content?

is there learning within a defeated attempt,

or scars, or both, or not, or yards to go

until, the ever-after creeps up...

until there is a still pause before applause of the end,

until we decided against encores.

furthermore,

until we discover the emtiness in engraved badges and names...

we must discontinue the halt of compromise

or we will despise each other further...

to the ends of our encounters

or until we end our encounters.

I would prefer the first, but am currently wishing the latter.

Yeah.

mal.

people are so retarded.

i feel like this....

but worse.

I've run into the greatest combination of illegitamate brain-ed people today, and I don't even have the energy or patience to type about it. I think I'll just chill with this music...

like.ded.ness.

so, I kind-of have a "thing" for someone, but I guess I've reasoned with myself: I will never act on that feeling. I mean, it could create an uncomfortable situation in my life, and I'm waaay to busy for extra uncomfortable situations. Plus, I think I may just be slightly to mildly interested, and not full-blown. And, I don't think they like me (in that way, because they most def. like me as a friend, I mean, who doesn't?? lol.). And plus (again), I don't like to act on mere attraction, I have to like you...a lot, and in this case, be willing to sacrifice the comfortablilty of the situation. It just doesn't sound at all appealing...because it isn't.

A friend told me something the other day that would be so very much appropriate in this situation:

"You never get what you want, you always get what wants you."

that is so true. :(

no bed.

oh....i have no bed.

couch time!

y.........a.........y.

3:26am

So it's 3:26am and I would've have gone to bed by now, but i took about a 6 hour nap today. Why? Because, I pulled a 24 hour day yesterday...too busy hanging out, AND, work was crazy...as usual.

Yesterday I was on my way to see Step Brothers, you know that movie with Will Ferrell and that one other guy, and there's bunk beds, you know...and we looked up the showtimes and everything...AND when we got there.... Ronnie's (movie theater) was closed.

So we went to Denny's. ...instead?

...and yes, I'm the only girl in the group. And no, none of us are dating or any of that. I bet people think I'm weird. But, that's cool, cause I am.

And when we got back to steve's house, we played in the street like a bunch of kids that can get arrested, or that can serve jury duty, or that can drive....lol.

yeah...good times.

eraimjvarcma

i should be sleep now. but...i'm not???

thats all i got.

japanese festival!!!

let's catch up.

i need to practice this thingy.

and my bro was in town last weekend.

________________________________________________

I went to the Japanese Festival last weekend (Labor Day weekend)...and my bro was in town so he came later too...

:P here are the highlights.....

steve!

oh no! giant skull thingy attacks nate!

my sister is a poser. (literally-she called this a pose.)

an original lewis production.

the rest of the crew's..assets.

hw!

your just my poetry for now.

____________________________________

sooo.....what's up? I took some pics today instead of finishing my homework....wanna see?

yes. a lot of homework was not accomplished. I have a hard time concentrating at home. There's too many things I own or have at my immediate use in the vacinity. Which is why I will be tired as shit trying to finish my homework on Monday night.
and I need sleep now...so ta ta :P

My last post was more than a week ago!!!



Wanna know why???? Because, BECAUSE, BECAUSE, BECAUSE, BECAUSE, BECAUSE, because I feel like this:

o_o

uh...yeah....

I know what it feels like to be the reciever of the feelings of someone who's in love with me....but I don't know if I know how to immulate that feeling, and be in love with someone.



Plus, I don't exactly think I'm willing to allow myself to be THAT vulnerable. I mean, you have to trust someone...with your heart. As in, they can affect your inner emotions permanently. I can barely trust someone else's notes if I miss a class.



Just thought I'd share that thought...with myself...not like anybody reads this anyways...and if they did, well, the must be bored outta their MINDS.....or stalker-ish ... O_o



_____________________________________________________



So, ANYWAYS..... I went to the japanese festival the other day....



my bro was in town for the the weekend too....it was FUN....

super-witness...to the rescue?

I have come to the realization that I am beginning to be present when and where things happen. I have yet to decide if this is a good or a bad thing, but what it IS is a true thing.
Because of the five family members that inhabit my house, minus my brother who's away at college, four, we have a decently to very eventful life at any given moment. My youngest sibling is in high school, so everything tends to be a pretty important ...for lack of a better word, thing. And my parents are divorced, which is a primary reason as to why I am so interested in law (because I spent half my high school years in a courtroom...another story, another day).

Like last week, I am pretty sure I witnessed a shooting, and no, not of a movie. Add a car flipping over right in front of me, a stabbing, a robbery next door to my job (while I was there), and a lady in front of me in line at the gas station, freaking out because her friends picture appeared on the front of a newspaper, and "foul play" was suspected, I would think that I happen to be in the right place at the right time... or the wrong place at the wrong time. Either way, at a time when it happens, I am starting to be there more and more.

Like I said, this may prove to be a streak of good luck...or aligned stars....or numerology something or another taking place...or the Chinese zodiac shifting...but I hope it's all for the better. Though, I am not one that likes to witness any types of pain afflicted or inflicted upon others. Maybe I will help someone soon in one of theses right place/time/wrong place/time situations??? hopefully so.

Well....I am at school so I guess I should get back to work.

snippets.

snippet of my current existence...

They say I came through the back door
but they're wrong.
I'm not in yet.

They just see my shadows moving towards the keyhole...
and they fear that they'll regret trying to stop me before.

And, oh, they will.
__________________________

Yes. a short poem, by me. Woohee. The rhyming comes nat-urally. See? What I mean? It's serene. It's the air of the scene. It's....I'll stop now. Sorry....carried away with the whole Dr. Suess mood.

What tickles your fancy? Writing tickles my fancy. Writing and reading and theres more where that came from. And music. I can't even function sometimes if theres no music. Guess it would be wise to invest in an ipod that isn't lost. (My bro LOST my shuffle that I got from my job for winning a contest...so it was free! {*cries*} aw...shucks....now I will have to spend actual George Washington's on a new one. Well...I will mos def upgrade from the whole shuffle approach. Why am I still in parenthesis? This is like...an inside thought, GONE WILD {volume one}- ORDER NOW>>>>>OR NOW.!!! ok...I guess I'll stop that too....and this.) There. Inside thought mostly completed.

I was on boondockstv.com reading an old BOONDOCKS strip and remembered a funny jokey joke they had. It was a flash app so I couldn't paste the strip's image file...but here's the text idea. IT talked about the previous election like: "And Bush...well there's no way Bush can lead the country. "

"Are you kidding? Bush couldn't lead NUNs to church."

"I bet Bush couldn't lead Puffy to a bottle of champagne."

"MANNNN, Bush couldn't lead a big butt to a rap video."

That last one pretty much owned. Most Definately.

Heres another for your viewing pleasure. I guess it would work better if the talk bubbles were in 20/20. TOO BAD!!! Welcome, to my WORLD (the world of contacts and glasses!!!)!

Class tonight was ...fun....but slightly tiring. I need book monies. Send me book monies!!!!!

scoodby doo voice: roodles.

SGA.

part of the SGA crew at the cheesecake factory....

SGA stands for Student Government Association.

I went to our first meeting today and realized how much work this will really be...AND last year's VP, was going to be this year's president...but she decided not to. Like, I remember her saying that she may have classes at two campuses this semester: you gotta do what you gotta do. So I guess that also meant that she'd be too overwhelmed with that to participate in SGA.

She texted that she wouldn't be participating a few days ago, so yes, considering we've been working on a leadership conference all summer together- it did come as a surprise.

But not to worry, we can find someone else...RIGHT?

Well, SGA is a pretty big committment within itself, then, after you factor in all the events that we need to undergo plans for like yesterday, it's a HUGE committment.

Yeah, we need to hire two more people at my job, because I can't manage full-time this school year. I did it all since I was a junior in highschool (full time school and job plus extra cirricular activities) but I REFUSE to kill myself ANY longer. I am too young for this and am wearing myself out...and I have honors projects to participate in.

This will not work.

I may be exiting the poetry club soon....I have little energy left to motivate a group of peers that could care less.

Hmm...I wonder how this semester will turn out....

choices...

My brother is in Chicago....which is a good five or six hours from here. He just graduated in May (08!), and he's starting at the Art Institute of Chi-Illinois. IT all sounds dandy until you've heard the whole thing. Basically, he has to take out a shit ton of student loans, because he refuses to accept the fact that he may be too broke for out-of-state tuition. Partially because he started at a diff. University in Chicago two weeks ago, didn't like it, and applied for A-I a few days later...and partially because he has no scholarship $$$ because he did everything last minute.

I mean, getting out of-town is cool and all, I even plan to be in New York or Cali somewhere when I transfer (next year)...but saving money is important. Even more important, is realizing the time and place for everything. He has the place.....but is this the right time?

Maybe he should've applied A LOT earlier (like....months earlier), but now, the costs are so high...and he's STILL waiting for all his financial aid to go thru.
AI is around 26,000 a year with partial housing arrangements (my bro said partial...) and he still doesn't have a pantry worth of food, a closet worth of clothes, a case worth of gatorade, or a laptop and a good pair of shoes to his name. We're not that broke, my brother just enjoys hanging out more then he enjoys saving.


Sometimes I feel like I'm the responsible one. Staying here, working and going to school, both full time, making sure the house is in order and my sisters and mom are okay.

Now that I'm making a little more money, I'll be helping pay off the extra monthly bills so that they'll be completely eliminated before I move out (this time next year); and my younger sister will have a dependable car. (She'll be 17 in Jan.) I just cant get up and leave, when we are still in the process of getting back to living regular debt-free lives. There has to be a small emergency fund, or at least a breaking even of money....

i don't know.....

but i definately AM more responsible.....or at least more confronted by the situation...


And he wants to work.

Freshmeat!

I created this blog today.
Let's see how it goes.

iomj,uytbfggtredaqwe

So far, so good.