If I have my way

I change my mind a lot: like..... A LOT, LOT, LOT. I mean, first I like you, then I don't...first I'll stay, then I'll leave, then I'll comeback. It's getting to be very annoying, very much so...and the ONLY thing that I've learned from it is that I STILL don't know what I want.

I'm goal oriented without specific goals. I like to broaden the picture to include all possibilities and then with all the extra choices I need more time before I can make my decision. I enjoy leading, but not deciding where to lead. What kind of a leader is that? What kind of a person is that.

I am in heavy need of things to just fall from the sky, for lights to ordain themselves around the decision that best fits, and for them to glare in my face until chosen.

I need a nap. This was pointless...I think.

one hour til work.

I have one hour until I have to prepare my mind for work.....and then I will have to actually get into my car and leave after that. dangit.

I have not blogged in exactly one month and four days. What's up with that? guess I've been busy.

SGA and work and poetry club damn near killed me last week....but it's okay, I'm okay, I think. I have a poem for you all....It's interesting. Don't take it personal though.

Friends at first, but attitudes come with titles.

Where we once collaborated,

we now work against:

zealous fire that stays within the limits of personal denial...

Every meeting is a trial.

Who will prevail, and to what extent?

What will be the value if the prevail-er's win?

Will the winners' sustain content?

is there learning within a defeated attempt,

or scars, or both, or not, or yards to go

until, the ever-after creeps up...

until there is a still pause before applause of the end,

until we decided against encores.

furthermore,

until we discover the emtiness in engraved badges and names...

we must discontinue the halt of compromise

or we will despise each other further...

to the ends of our encounters

or until we end our encounters.

I would prefer the first, but am currently wishing the latter.

Yeah.